Turtle, Turtle

The sun has been slowly revealing itself here in Seattle, and in that same vein I’ve been slow to tackle my wardrobe spring cleaning. Warm weather hasn’t rushed in, so why should I rush to clear my winter clothes out? I’m tired of winter, but can’t seem to put away my coziest sweaters, my thickest socks, and most reluctantly, my turtlenecks.

Every designer, every brand, every celebrity worth their salt has put their spin on the high-necked staple, and I, a mere peasant, have tracked this trend meticulously for the last two years. Lately, my apprehension for the end of Turtleneck Season has led me to cause all 2 of my Pinterest followers to be up to their necks in street style photos featuring the garment, including sharing some rather … unlikely sources of inspiration.


Is there anyone cooler than Fran? Every single one of her outfits on The Nanny are worth replicating, but this flashy girl from Flushing knocks it out of the park every time she wiggles into a turtleneck. Her figure-accentuating tops come in every color of the rainbow, but it’s in the classic black turtleneck where she truly shines. Pair yours with a miniskirt and big hair like Fran — how can the Mr. Sheffield in your life possibly resist?


The media mogul’s passion for the classic black turtleneck actually stemmed from his desire to adopt a more uniform sartorial image for his company, but when Apple employees nearly booed him off the stage at his suggestion, Jobs asked Japanese fashion icon Issey Miyake to just send him some of the shirts. You, too, can project your own genius and streamline your wardrobe with a few turtlenecks, but don’t be afraid to step away from black, either!


Early 2000s Disney cartoon series KIM POSSIBLE featured Christy Carlson Romano voicing a high-school student by day, international spy by night. While Kim’s outfits changed during her daytime shenanigans with her best friend Ron Stoppable and his pet naked mole rat Rufus, she relies on an old staple to complete some of her most dangerous missions — a (cropped!) turtleneck and khaki cargo pants. Even her nemesis, Shego, gets down with her bad self in a lime-green version.


Everyone’s crush and ultimate funny lady Jenny Slate has probably been the most vocal personality on the turtleneck scene lately. While you can visit her Twitter or Instagram feeds for all sorts of hilarity, some of my favorite posts feature her broadcasting her feelings in regards to her favorite shirts. Everything Jenny does radiates joy and excitement — exactly the way a turtleneck should make you feel!


In younger years, turtlenecks were merely a slightly less tacky way of hiding hickies, but it’s easy to forget that turtlenecks have sort of always been cool? Long sleeves? Check! No sleeves? Bring it on! Cut outs? … Well, let me renew my gym membership and get back to you.

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